They think it’s about pushing products—when it’s really about solving real problems.
Summary. The article explores the disconnect between how vital sales actually is and the widespread dislike people have for feeling “sold to.” Rather than blaming “haters,” it looks at common industry practices—like calling up old friends to push products they don’t need—and shows how this approach can damage relationships and reinforce negative stereotypes.
The thing about sales, the entire business of selling things—products, services, whatever—is that as crucial as it all is in the big picture, if you ever ask people directly, they’ll almost always say that they hate being sold to. Like, seriously, most folks can’t stand it. Some might even go as far as to say that they find salespeople—those of us who’ve decided to make a living by offering something to somebody else—to be downright insufferable.
Now, I know, “sticks and stones,” right? We could just brush off these views as “haters gonna hate,” but if we’re really trying to get better at what we do, it’s worth taking a closer look at the disconnect between the undeniable usefulness of sales and the general annoyance people feel when confronted by it.
Revolutionize Your Ad Campaigns! Are you tired of constantly worrying about your ad budget? Check out our monthly ad subscription plan. Learn more
The contradiction is actually kind of wild. On one hand, sales is essential. Every industry leans on it. Lawyers, doctors, engineers—everyone is selling something, be it their expertise, a product, or a new solution. On the other hand, there’s this pervasive disdain for salespeople, the very folks who actually help us make informed decisions. It’s like we don’t want to be bothered, but at the same time, we kinda need these people. It’s a strange tension that’s been around forever.
It reminds me of a scenario I’ve seen a lot, especially among Black shoppers: We might complain about being followed too closely by sales staff at a store—feeling like we’re not trusted, like we can’t shop in peace—yet we’ll also complain when the salespeople at a department store like Macy’s just leave us completely alone.
There’s this weird space we have to navigate, a fine line between getting the right amount of help and not feeling smothered. And honestly, sales gets stuck on the wrong side of that line more often than not. That’s where the disconnect kicks in.
I think there are a bunch of reasons this happens, but I want to focus on one that’s been bugging me lately, something I’ve seen brought on by people in my own industry.
Here’s the situation: Someone starts working at XYZ Company, and their job is to sell Product A or Product B. Now, to the uninitiated salesperson, the straightforward play is: call everyone you know, your whole contact list—friends you haven’t spoken to in ages, cousins you barely see, maybe that old coworker you barely remember—and try to sell them on the idea. The logic goes something like, “I know these folks. They know me. They should support me!” But in practice, this just gets weird real fast.
Why? Because half the time, we overestimate how close we actually are to these people. We show up out of nowhere like, “Hey, long time no talk, but check out this insurance package I’m selling,” and it puts everyone in an awkward spot. You might squeeze out a few sales, maybe someone buys just to get you off their back, but what’s the cost? Friendships get strained, acquaintances feel used, and the buyer ends up with something they didn’t actually want. It’s not a good look, and it only fuels the stereotype that sales is pushy and manipulative.
But here’s the thing: the key to good sales—at least one of the keys—is understanding ourselves as problem-solvers first. We should see what we’re offering as a unique solution that’s actually valuable to a very specific kind of customer. Not just anyone. And definitely not every random person in our phone. We’re not just slinging products; we’re supposed to be delivering something that people genuinely need or want, something that makes their lives better in a clear and meaningful way.
Let’s break that down a bit. Take a friend who’s recently gotten into some legal trouble—just got arrested, let’s say. Now, you don’t need to sell them on the idea that they need a lawyer. They already know that. The problem is not convincing them that legal help is necessary; the real issue is finding a lawyer who’s competent, trustworthy, and affordable. If you, as a salesperson, could connect that buddy with such a lawyer—be it through your network, your product, or your firm—then you’re not just selling something, you’re providing real value. You’re solving an actual problem. That’s what it means to align the solution with the person who genuinely needs it.
This concept applies everywhere. Look at Walmart’s recent strategy: They saw that budgets are tightening for many families, and at the same time, there’s a push for healthier, more organic options. Recognizing this gap, Walmart launched a new brand— “BetterGoods”—to meet these needs head-on. They bridged the gap between “I want to eat better” and “I’m not trying to break the bank.” By doing this, they weren’t just shoving products at people; they were listening, understanding a real need, and presenting a tailored solution. That’s sales done right.
So how do we get to that point more consistently? How do we align what we’re offering with the very real problems people face, rather than running around, making cold calls to our old roommates from college, hoping to push something they don’t want?
Start by Listening, Not Pitching:
One of the biggest turn-offs in sales is when someone jumps straight into the hard sell before even understanding what the other person wants or needs.
Picture this: you walk into a phone store just to browse, and the salesperson immediately starts rattling off deals and discounts without asking what features you care about—maybe you value a great camera, or perhaps you’re on a super strict budget.
If they never bother to ask, how can they expect to hook you with the right product? Instead, by starting with a simple question—something like, “What’s most important to you in a new phone?”—you immediately shift the focus onto the customer’s needs.
This makes them feel seen and heard, and in turn, they’re more likely to trust that you’ll help them find the best fit. Think about any scenario where a salesperson asked you a few targeted questions upfront. Didn’t it feel better to have them guide you toward something that actually made sense, rather than throwing random pitches your way? It’s a subtle shift in approach, but it goes a long way.
Offer Education and Insight:
Instead of just thinking, “How do I make this sale right now?” consider how you might offer real value from the jump. For example, say you’re trying to sell home security systems.
Rather than saying, “Buy now and save 20%,” what if you first send out a quick guide that breaks down the pros and cons of different home security features—cameras, motion sensors, smart locks—so people understand what’s out there?
Maybe you put together a simple checklist to help homeowners identify their biggest security vulnerabilities. That way, even if they don’t buy today, they walk away feeling more informed than they were before they met you.
This approach frames you as someone who’s genuinely helpful rather than someone just trying to score a commission. Over time, when they are ready, guess who they’ll remember and trust? Exactly—you, the one who gave them something worthwhile without pushing a sale down their throat.
Be Honest About Who You Can Actually Help:
Let’s say you’re selling a specialized software service designed for medium-sized restaurants that need help managing reservations and deliveries. Not every random person you run into is going to benefit from what you’re offering. If you bump into a friend who runs a tiny food truck with barely any staff and almost no overhead, it’s probably not worth hard-selling them on a complex reservation system they don’t need.
You can be real with them: “Hey, honestly, this tool might be more than what you’re looking for right now. If you grow or decide you need more structure, keep me in mind.” By doing this, you’re showing integrity and respect.
You’re acknowledging that what you have isn’t a universal solution, and that honesty can earn you points. People remember when you don’t try to fit a square peg into a round hole. Later, if they grow or know someone else who fits the bill, they’re far more likely to send that referral your way because you weren’t just trying to make a quick buck off them.
Provide Real Solutions, Not Just Products:
Think about the difference between simply offering someone a vacuum cleaner versus helping them solve a problem: “You mentioned your new puppy sheds like crazy, and you’re worried about the air quality in your home because your toddler is always on the floor.
Let me show you this vacuum that has a HEPA filter and strong suction designed specifically to pick up pet hair, plus a docking station that sanitizes the bristles between uses.” See the difference there? You’re not just saying, “Hey, buy this vacuum.” You’re reframing it as, “This will help keep your floors cleaner, improve air quality, and make your life a bit easier given your specific situation.”
When people see that you’re connecting dots to address an issue they genuinely face, they’re far more likely to appreciate what you’re selling—and actually consider buying it. It’s that sweet spot where selling feels less like a push and more like a natural progression toward fixing something that’s been bothering them.
Think Long-Term, Not Quick Hits:
In sales, it’s tempting to try to close every deal right now, today, on the spot. But that mindset can backfire. Let’s say you’re selling life insurance. You meet someone who says, “I’m not really ready to talk about policies right now—I’m focused on saving up for a house.” Instead of trying to twist their arm and say, “But what if you die tomorrow?” (which, let’s be real, would feel super grim and pushy), consider playing the long game.
You might say, “I totally get it. Buying a house is a big deal. When the time comes and you’re ready to look into insurance, feel free to reach out. In the meantime, here’s a short guide on what to consider when choosing a policy down the line.” No pressure, no forcing the sale.
By doing this, you respect where they are in their life, and you lay the groundwork for a future conversation. People don’t forget when they’re treated like humans rather than commissions. Months or years later, when they’re ready, they’ll remember the person who gave them space and understanding—and guess who they’ll come back to? You. This mindset builds trust, fosters goodwill, and helps you cultivate a network of genuinely satisfied customers who can’t wait to recommend you to others.
Never Shoot Down Their Previous Choice:
Every customer brings with them a history of decisions that led to where they are today—whether that’s the software they chose for their business, the car they bought, or the insurance policy they’ve been renewing year after year. It’s tempting to highlight the flaws in whatever they chose before in order to make your product look better by comparison.
But doing that can easily backfire. When you critique a customer’s past decision, you’re not just criticizing a product—they might feel like you’re also criticizing them. People take pride in their past decisions, even if they’re currently open to finding something better.
Instead of tearing down what they had, find a respectful way to pivot. For example, say, “I can see why you went with that option—it has a good reputation for reliability. Now, what I can help you with is something that offers you more flexibility and can grow with your changing needs.” This approach shows empathy, preserves the customer’s sense of competence, and creates a safe space for them to acknowledge that they might do better without feeling embarrassed about where they’ve been.
If Something’s Not a Big Deal, Don’t Make It One:
It’s easy to get fixated on every little detail of your pitch—price differences, minor features, slight variations in shipping times—and treat each one as a potential game-changer. But customers can sense when a salesperson is grasping at straws.
If something genuinely doesn’t matter much to the buyer—maybe they don’t care that the warranty is an extra six months, or that the device comes in three colors instead of two—don’t force the point. Keep the spotlight on what really counts: the core value that solves their main problem.
When you let the minor stuff slide by without overemphasis, you show that you respect the customer’s intelligence and time. By focusing on what’s genuinely beneficial, you reinforce the idea that you’re there to help, not to distract them with unnecessary extras.
Stay Positive—Don’t Join Them in the Wallow:
Sometimes customers come to you feeling frustrated, defeated, or cynical. Maybe they’ve had bad experiences with other vendors, or their business is going through a tough period, or they simply feel overwhelmed by their choices. When they start to voice these negative feelings, your instinct might be to empathize by joining in and lamenting the “bad state of things.”
But that can pull the whole conversation into a negative spiral. Instead, acknowledge their concerns and show that you understand, but then gently steer the conversation toward a more positive outlook. You might say something like, “I totally get how that can be discouraging. Let’s focus on what we can do moving forward to make this easier for you.”
This approach doesn’t dismiss their feelings; it just doesn’t add fuel to the negativity. Your calm, optimistic presence can become a sort of emotional anchor, helping them see that, with the right solution, things might not be as grim as they seem. It’s about being compassionate, but also a leader who guides them toward hope and action rather than despair.
The Human Touch in the Age of AI:
Another angle worth considering these days is what’s happening on the tech front. AI, machine learning, automated chatbots—these tools are taking over a lot of the straightforward, surface-level tasks that used to be the bread and butter of sales and customer service.
And while plenty of people worry that this means fewer opportunities, I’d argue it’s the exact opposite, at least for those who lean into what makes us human. Because let’s be real: as we speed further into an era where machines handle the routine, the need for genuine human connection—the kind that can’t be coded—is going to spike.
Especially here in America, where demographics are shifting and we’ve got a growing population of older folks who’ve been around long enough to know when something’s phony. They value that human touch. Sure, they might appreciate the efficiency of AI-driven solutions, but when they’re making a decision about something that genuinely matters to them—a healthcare plan, long-term care options, financial security for their golden years—they’re going to want to talk to a real person who can relate to their situation, understand their fears, and guide them through these life decisions. They don’t just need a product; they need someone who cares.
This generational tilt—more experienced folks, fewer young people—is going to create a landscape where being able to connect on a human level becomes a kind of “premium feature.” It’s something technology can’t fully replicate. And as sales professionals, if we can show that we’re more than just a script or a chatbot stand-in—if we can prove that we really get it and can help tailor solutions to what people need—then we’re carving out a role that’s future-proof.
We’re making ourselves valuable in a world where machines handle the grunt work, but people still crave understanding, empathy, and sincerity. In that sense, the march of AI isn’t killing the sales approach that truly matters—it’s highlighting it, making it stand out even more.
In essence, we need to dial back the “sales voice” that comes off as pushy and self-serving and lean into a more thoughtful, human approach—one that actually hears people out and aims to fix what needs fixing. That’s how we get past the usual gripes about sales. That’s how we turn a profession that so many people say they hate into something they can appreciate.
Because at the end of the day, the best kind of sales is just problem-solving in disguise. It’s about finding that sweet spot where we’re not smothering folks, but we’re also not leaving them out in the cold.
We’re meeting them right where they are, with something they can truly use. And once we get that right, all the old complaints about being “sold to” start to fade, replaced by something that feels less like a pitch and more like a helping hand.
Comments